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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Lifetime Access

by Sam Hanlan

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1.
What a time to be alive Without a cause, you’re out the door Say “hello, world”, what are you for? What are we moving towards? You’ve painted us in to a corner Pull me from my nest Throw me under your wheels Capsized and desperate Restless, unheeding String me line, toss me a dime I tried being helpless But nothing much comes of it Wind me up, ‘fore I run out the clock With my head on the block Shake me from my tree Put me to work in your fields Morning and evening Hold me, feeeed meee Both the captain and the crew Are abandoning you Do you know how to turn this vessel alone? Can you read your map from the stars? Can you navigate back to the harbour? Or stick like a pig on the iceberg Or snag on the rocks like the anchor
2.
That's So Me 05:16
Haven’t I given enough? What about all that good shit I done? Didn’t it do it for anyone? Heading on down to the brink We’re all thinking about stepping in Or taking up residence Like a complicated act of god It just felt wrong Like a stern word in the birdsong It just didn’t belong Like an answer and a lie, perfectly combined But never aligned A roaring symphony of broken rhyme and harmony That's so me How about mellowing out? Pushing it all the way down Letting your hair out the tower I can see you’re completely Connected to your grief No sharp relief Like a complicated act of god It just felt wrong Like a stern word in the birdsong I just didn’t belong Like an answer and a lie, perfectly combined But never aligned A roaring symphony of broken rhyme and harmony That's sooo meee Yeah you can complain I’ll be sure to pass it along Should have know you could do no wrong So many words, nothing to say I get you people every day You’re just more hair in the clay The second you shut your mouth I’d already blacked out
3.
You say it was a game But I almost had you How did I do? What can you prove? Full disclosure Brainless no-name There’s no fooling me again Up on my hill, all you can build Is my landfill Animated statue with an animal's statute There is no more meat on my bones For you to chew Pieces are missing, others are listening in But they’ll learn nothing new, til I have you Such is the sweet ether that collides in the night With the sweat and the cold gripping your soul Your stolen plates Even the children can place you at the scene, and how will you plead? Easily: guilty I was just doing my job, the bait on the line Well, are you blind? Was it a crime? Honest kindness Picking through the rubble, like picking a wound Like coffee in our kitchen without you Spin me another web, can we keep on dancing Til I forget my lines, or you fumble the script Both of us looking for lifetime access A full-time mutual subscription A ladder to prop up at my window A piece of my heart for a seat at your table
4.
The Wizard 04:18
Finally, some time with The Wizard Some company in these woods An excuse to complain, is it? Or an exercise in restraint I said: I am tired of nature, I grow weary with peace Is there a spell that you can cast That can break what was meant to last He said: I know very well that you understand That a grand don’t come for free How about some potion, then? Or a powerful emotion Some wise words, softly spoken Some savvy incantation Or I’ll take your staff And break your will And have your head And be done with it I can take my own compliments I can make my own medicine I can build a tower and a fence Around my shallow sentiments He said: I know very well that you can survive But a grand don’t grow on trees Foul words are spoken and the exchange is made And he leaves me Groaning under silence Now I am the boundary Now I am the contract I am the combination AND I AM TO BE OBEYED I am the empty hallway I am the waiting memory And with armies bowed before me And you, you are my queen And I am curled and tiny At your feet
5.
I didn’t give an inch And I sure am glad to say That there’s still pressure in the pipes And still life behind the eyes Left ears twisting in the wind And lips frozen closed again Well, if you can punch it in Why don’t you use your words, then? We’ll all huddle under the banner Together, for better or worse They said: only date winners But I’m really doing me right now Then like a true beginner, tumbling back down to the ground They said: I can offer you nothing But it’ll cost you something Well I’d take that deal When we are so poorly placed to seize the day We’ll all huddle under the banner Together, and weather the storm

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released October 3, 2021

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Sam Hanlan Berlin, Germany

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